A Decade To Freedom · Finding Happy

Trying Too Hard? Dealing with Frustrations

I am a victim of this. I get passionate about something and then after a time start taking the fun out of it.

I don’t mean to. I just get obsessed with getting it right or doing it right and then when it does not move or make sense like it should. I get discouraged and forget why I enjoyed doing something in the first place.

If you are like me, it’s hard to make sense in a world that does not. Hard work and perseverance does not get you what it once did. In a world of ridiculousness, fake crap and viral videos with everyone having an opinion behind an anonymous screen, it’s hard to be part of the old world vs. the new world agenda.

Trying to make honest videos while the sensationalist news completely buries you is something hard to compete with, especially if you would like to make a little passive income from such a venture with videos without a dog or cat.

I study things and have listened to more videos than I care to mention about the subject of having a popular YT channel.

The algorithm at best seems to be unstable, giving you great views and 14 subscribers in one week and completely forgetting about you the next.

Completely discouraged and overwhelmed at trying to figure out what else I could do, my smartphone decided to crap out after I saved an additional $26 a month on my bill when I went to the provider over the weekend to discuss my rates.  (Figures! Murphy at work here, by first saving and then having to spend it on new hardware. Something I have not done yet, I’m still trying to avoid it).

At first the thought of being without a smartphone was scary. Not a day goes by that I don’t look at my stats for my channel and then see what else I can optimize. That is if I’m not making or editing videos.

Instead, I spent the first day just relaxing and doing the minimum because I had no choice. I had no choice but to let go and concentrate on other things. Instead of picking up my phone to see what Facebook was doing (usually the same thing which is not much of anything really important). I dusted off a book from my shelves at home so I could read on my breaks. I had forgotten what a great joy it was to turn a page and get involved in a good story, or even a mediocre story. I usually read anything that falls in my hands, which has been less and less because my hand is usually populated by a phone.

I went home later and saw that my channel had very little again after putting out more than 4 videos in a single week and realizing that I had to do another video, I sat in a room and talked about my win and loss for the week and our financial goal for the week. (under $5000 as of this week, yes I know I should be overjoyed about the less than $5000 but at this point and having paid over $50000, I would like the throwing money into the void to end now).

Did I do a withdrawal from my forced withdrawal of the internet world?

No.

Actually if truth be known. I’m still waiting to see if a new battery supposedly delivered by tomorrow will do the trick for my old phone (it’s 3 years old, apparently that’s old) or if I will have to attempt some manual repairs or as a last resort just might have to replace the phone altogether.

But it still means that I am without technology for a few days. I am making the most of this time, to let go and look around me a minute.

As I mentioned in my latest video, I enjoy making and watching my own videos. The boys make me smile and these will be great memories that I can look at whenever I like. A great record of how much fun we can have. Having to let go of trying to figure out how to make people love these videos, made me realize that really in the scheme of things, the only people who should like and love these would be my little band of crazy people who live with me that I love.

Success Opposite Decision Failure Choice Choose
Success Opposite Decision Failure Choice Choose

Things start going so much better when I let go and let what is supposed to happen, happen for anything that I endeavor to undertake.

I’m not saying that I should not try at all, but maybe do the very best I can and enjoy the ride instead of hurting through the process and trying to figure out a world that very often makes no sense.

This disconnect brought me back to a time to less stressful days where things moved more naturally and at an easier pace. So I sit here and letting things do what they do, and I guess I will get connected back up whenever that happens. Am I ok with that? YES, I am.

Have you tried disconnecting recently? If not, I would recommend it if you are not afraid of what would happen if you do.

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