A Decade To Freedom · Finding Happy · Uncategorized

Plan Of Action…

There was a question posted on social media today about what possible plan of action was put forward today and I’m guessing every day to make your outlook better today than yesterday.

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I resonated with that question because I feel that I have been doing something every day to help myself move forward in a world that very often feels quite backwards.

How? Well it’s quite easy. I see many posts about self-doubt and many pitying themselves. Saying stuff like I quit or why me?

I have known those words. Sometimes they were well placed…Especially when I was younger and dealing with horrors that a child should never put up with. Rape, alcohol, abuse, all before the age of 6.

Then I lost a child, eight months in my belly she was, and I asked. Why me? Am I such a terrible person that you could punish a child to prove a point?

Of course not. These were terrible moments in my life. But they were moments. The first where caused by someone who failed to be a good guardian and protect me. The stuff as a child were caused because others were too broken to nourish my soul as a human. They had their own demons that made it impossible to help me.

Losing a baby is something that cannot always be explained away, but I refuse to believe that I deserved a punishment that severe in my life that required something so awful to happen to me.

I learned an awful lot through the experience, and one big thing was how grateful I am for my babies who did grow up and whom I have gotten to know. I love my boys…The boys I made and the one that helped me make them.

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I don’t quit. Why? Because life is awesome. There are so many opportunities now that were not here even 10 years ago. It’s a wonderful place with wonderful new doors opening every day. And I always plan to say. Oh Yeah! How can I do that or flourish with this opportunity. I don’t always go through the door, but I look to see if there is anything interesting that I might like.

Why me? Why not me would be a better question. I am so grateful for every new milestone that I reach, every little step that goes in the right direction. Every day that I can have my boys and family in my life is a fabulous day, because I realize that we are all here only for a matter of minutes and you should truly cherish having those with people you love.

What I wont’ do? Well, I refuse to put up with negative or dumb a$$ people and there are plenty of those. Trolls whose sole purpose in life are to make it harder for you to feel good about yourself. People who instill self-doubt. The problem sometimes with that is that it is a lonely road because they won’t bother you, but without the negative, the world forgets to give you a hand up. They just don’t bother with you. So every day, I am my own cheerleader. I don’t need anyone to tell me I am doing good or that I am great. I already know it. I live it.

Will I keep moving forward, learning and being even better to people and myself. I sure hope so and it’s my intention.  To keep pushing forward and plowing on.

So ready or not. I’m here to stay! Gotta love me or not. Either way it’s all good!

(By the way, the two pictures in this post are some of my most favorite work. This planet does give you some of the most effortless most breathtaking scenes…I love it)

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