Sending love in the world because I am sure that it needs it. Actually, I know positively that it needs it bad.
It’s been a rough week, I won’t lie.
Some people go around and a) don’t dwell on anything or b) tell you to keep positive. And to keep your sanity I can see how that can help sometimes.
But sometimes you need to live more than a superficial life or a superficial thought such as those ones.
You need to put meaning into it. Granted I don’t want to be one that airs their dirty laundry to the world and make everyone’s life a groaner by having a fit in an attempt to get attention, but definitely need more than waving my arms back and forth saying crap like “oh well, that’s how it is” and just move on.
As for myself and my week, I was put in a situation where I became responsible for two jobs as the other member of my small office staff was out for the week due to circumstances I won’t advertise here, since it’s not relevant to this story anyhow.
Being a very efficient employee I knew with diligence I could get through the rest of the week with some fancy maneuvering and organization, the problem is that there are only two people to begin with in this office and as efficient as I am, it can get overwhelming even for me.
Now I won’t involve the person who got hurt and could not work (shit happens), but there are other support staff and bosses at a nearby office (head office to be exact), that could have reached out this week.
Anyone care to put in a guess of how many called to check up on me?
Zero. Not one call. Not one email. In 3 days of the busiest time of year, not one single person over there checked on the well-being of the single employee left running their area office.
I was so swamped for a day a half that by the time I got home, I could barely remember my name.
Now I guess I could take it as a compliment that they think I can handle things by myself when situations such as these arise, but the human being in me just resents the fact that because this efficiency is in place for my being, I get somehow ignored or forgotten.
Now I suppose I could have called in sick to be vindictive and not care (to teach them), but I am not made that way. So I have been trudging on the best I can and trust me when I say that I am happy Friday is finally here.
Ask me again about how I am looking forward to financial freedom after a week like this one?
I suspect that most companies not just this one takes their efficient staff for granted, since they are less likely to complain and more likely to just buck up and get things done.
But it can sort of leave you feeling like you are somehow invisible.
Just like Facebook, I exist, but my existence is not acknowledged in any meaningful way.
Talking about Facebook and my subsequent abandonment of it, I am glad to report that I ended up with the same people I had before Facebook (maybe 15 in all not including my immediate family). The people that I know and have actually spent physical body time with have all reached out and spoken with me to make sure they could keep communications open, but as for my other 3000 friends. Not a single thing.
Now you really have to think of that. 3000 people have friended me as I have with them. And the most we ever got was just scrolling past each others stuff.
I realized that it really is like sitting in a room with 3000 people and that although I am in a room with 3000 people and that technically I am not alone, the lack of no real communication means I might as well be sitting alone.
It’s sad that the world has gotten to this point, but in some ways, it has. We have become a bunch of voyeurs with nothing to say unless we are insulted, with critics and a “punch a like attitude” which is our version of showing we care without caring.
I always thought that technology would offer us the opportunity to have more time to be and explore with each other. The machines were there to work for us the mundane unfeeling algorithms and we would have more time to discover and get to reconnect with our humanity.
But instead we go faster and pay less attention.
We read more but learn less of anything of real value.
We have no more time to hug someone who clearly needs it or sit and listen and mean it.
We read the first few sentences and then lose interest even when the best stuff is in the second paragraph (or real explanation for work related matters).
Our bodies and minds break down because they are smarter than we are, realizing that this life without meaning is not cutting it.
We were supposed to be better than this at this point. We were supposed to slow it down and enjoy it, not speed it up and skim through it.
We develop no more real relationships, just a bunch of temporary ones.
Temporary marriages, temporary couplings, temporary families, temporary friendships and move on without exploring the possibilities of forgiveness, understanding and tolerance.
I find that we have a bunch of people who simply don’t care if someone is hurting or struggling.
They stare at their phones and walk past like zombies.
They read every news report on Facebook and think everything they read is real. It’s not by the way. Most of the links are not even credible news agencies, if that even exist anymore.
I used to think work places were the place that needed the most reform in this world. Those corporations needed to care about the people and that only then would real progress and success happen for them, only to suddenly realize that the quick and fast pace of the rest of our world has now mimicked the corporate one.
There is always the saying of “be the change you want to see” but I think we are just being whatever we want, say every thought that crosses our minds regardless of the damage it may cause and we ended up with leaders who tweet about putting people in place like they are “finalists” on a TV show.
We have a lot longer way than we might have thought we had to go, and I include myself in that.
I am seeing that my aloofness at times has caused me problems, but I find my intolerance for stupidity and just bickering dumb people has steered me away from wanting to try any new connections when I get the chance in fear that they will end up being one of the many who buy into everything and can’t think for themselves in a meaningful way and I will have to distance myself after investing so much of myself. I’m hoping that maybe I can start taking chances again and hope to find like-minded people, especially with the YouTube Community, where you can seek out people who like what you do.
I know I am not where I need to be, but I hope to get there someday soon.
I hope I didn’t bring you all down too much, just figured some of this needed to be said.
Have a great weekend everyone!