There is just no other way to say it. As hard as it seems to do, you have to let them go.
As much as your whole body and soul wants you to hang on, people who move on from you and don’t make a conscious effort to be in your life need to be let go and make room for others to fill a spot that is worthy of you.
Some people are there for a season, for a reason and then are gone as the poem says.
If they move on without you, you must absolutely move one without them.
If they are part of your life, but you are always begging for time with them, it’s not a symbiotic relationship and time for you to move on.
Sometimes it’s hard, because it’s been someone who was a very big part of your life, but it’s better for you to let go then to harbor resentment constantly.
Sometimes it’s harder because of social medias, but there is gratefully an unfollow button that I now use for people I just can’t unfriend for obvious reasons. There is an unfollow button in your real life as well that you can use, it’s called distancing yourself or simply not engaging.
You don’t need to bash them publicly, but when people tell you how great these people are, you don’t need to acknowledge or deny it. You can simply distance yourselves from it. You don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it.
People need to make you a priority in their lives; if they don’t then they should get a lower ranking in the field of your thoughts. But you don’t need to sit there and take pounding on your head of getting to feel like you are substandard.
I have been very hard on myself through my years on this planet always wondering why I always feel like a second class citizen many times what I could have possibly done to be so unworthy of attention. But I do realize as my age catches up to me that it’s a very selfish way of thinking.
I know this comes from a need that was not fulfilled in my youth, where I thought I had to take my place in line, and it followed me into my adulthood where I acted and reacted most of the time as someone who would not be mean or say how I felt because it was not appropriate. I became at times a very resentful and sad person.
I have seen re-invention, justifications, manipulations presented to me that I am very aware of but keep to myself or share with a few very close friends. I see the games played and also being played the fool like I would be too stupid to notice.
But it still causes me intense sadness when I don’t deserve it. And I truly don’t deserve anyone’s insensitivity, destructive behavior because I have done nothing harmful to warrant that kind of behavior.
I tried for a time having fits in my adulthood and aggressive behavior to only realize how fully I was right when I never got my way and how it accomplished nothing in making me feel better.
So I have decided to do this… For every time I feel awful about being, abandoned, left out, ignored, put out. I am going to anonymously find someone I can contribute to help out. At any time in my life when I do this, I always find closeness to peace and love in my heart. The best is doing it for the right reasons, none of which are part of posting on Facebook.
Because no amount of memes, no amount of faking it until you feel it will ever take away from the pain or wrong you are doing or feeling.
I value loyalty and consistency. I value real not fake. I value actions not words. I can pretend to be anyone and thousands could pretend to love me back, but if I’m not being myself, the attention I’m getting is only subject to the bullshit I am selling.
What would these people think of me if they could see my biggest failings? I would risk being a real disappointment.
So no thanks, I will just be me. The ball busting, no crap, sometimes brash and nowhere near a saint person that I am. I have my flaws and my very bad moments where I can be hell on wheels. I will give you the best of me if you give me your attention and will put as much work into it as you do.
Now I can’t tell any single one of you how to live your lives. I can only do and tell you what I have done and try to improve on every day for my own mental health.
People can still hurt me and cause me great sadness, sometimes for my family too, but my reaction is a much better one and every time I try to find a better way of handling it. A higher road to take and I hope if you have suffered too, that you can find a way to help yourself heal and move on.
I hope this blog made sense to all of you. And if it hit a sore or soft spot in you, please share and let me know what you have done to help when suffering internally?