Finding Happy · Uncategorized

When Things Do Not Go As Planned (Post 362)

Ever think: I’m going to have a great day! I’m going have a nice weekend! And it just doesn’t work out.

feeling-blue

Yep, been there, done that and got the t-shirt. The thing is that we all expect something from the people we work with or live with.

The thing is it doesn’t always work out the way you want it to. Why? Because they are part of your life and when you make plans, you would like it to go as great as you expect it to happen.

The only problem is other things happen, people don’t feel well, or don’t show up when you were expecting them to and then you have to deal with their realities and not just your own.

Some will try their best to not be inconvenient even though the damage is still done while others just don’t care whether they are inconvenient or not. Either way you will be left disappointed. Now you could lash out and make others miserable about it, or you can just try to move past it.

The thing is most people on social media will say it’s wrong to have expectations of others, but what they fail to mention that when these people help shape your days because they are part of them every single day, that what they do and how they act does matter because they have a direct effect on your plans and your state of mind.

That if the people you love are not happy, you feel unhappy as well because it would be a ridiculous thing to just act happy and without a care when someone around you is not well physically or emotionally.

If someone does not feel well because of recurring conditions, even if you have a grand ole time planned with them does not mean that even though you wished it that it will end up being what you wanted it to be. Is it disappointing? Of course it is. Is it the other person’s fault? Of course not.

If you go to work and were expecting someone to show up and be of help and they don’t, is that not also an expectation. Yes it is. Could you control that? Of course not. Are you disappointed? Of course you are. Do you suffer more burden because of it. Of course you do.

The thing is, when you are someone who is the planner and the organizer in your own life and others follow as you take the lead, I am here to let you know that you will feel disappointment from time to time.

Since as an organizer, you are the one who takes the responsibility to make sure things are in the right place, doing the right things. You plan to have some fun, you plan for things to get done and when those things don’t come to fruition regardless of whether or not it’s anyone’s fault, you will get disappointed.

I keep hearing that we should not have any expectations and just rely on yourself and we would all be much happier. Unfortunately, some of us have things to get done that depend on others.

And some of us live with others and work with others who you need to rely on to do certain things and provide certain services. If you love someone, you want to help contribute to their happiness and happy days. If you cannot, it’s terribly disappointing.

We need to rely on others sometimes because we can’t do it all alone. If you live or work with someone, you are affected by their moods and actions or in-actions.

What does it mean for the manic planners of this planet such as I am? Well, it means that sometimes we will look back and think: “That didn’t go as I thought in my head!”

Unfortunately I cannot pretend to live in utopia where everything is always OK because I don’t have a thing to do or expect anything from anyone. Most of us don’t live in that pretend world, you know the one with the memes of peace and love and such. Those are all well and fine, but they can end up making you feel inadequate.

And others telling you that tomorrow will be better day can also make you feel like you missed the boat, but most of them just don’t want to listen to you because you talking about the world not being perfect can distort the perfect world they want to live in, so they give you a generic line. I’ve heard more than once. “Things are what they are!” Of course they are what they are, what else would it be. I never understood this line.

So first of all, if you find yourself being disappointed, don’t be too hard on yourself. You are part of the majority not the minority.  Don’t feel like a failure because you don’t go around with your head in the sand singing mantras and thinking, I’m so happy because I am free and don’t expect anything of anyone.

THIS IS NOT THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE. The majority of people get mad when things don’t go as planned and feel disappointment. And it’s alright to feel those things. So don’t beat yourself up. Instead, try to be understanding and say it when you speak. That you understand that either the situation could not be helped, but that you are still disappointed. There is no need to assign blame unless someone is to blame, but others need to realize that their moods or actions affect others and yours.

You have a right to feel as you do. They are your feelings. You don’t have a right to be a mean disgusting person, but you can feel anger and disappointment. We are humans with feelings. After you have dealt with those emotions, then it’s important to let them go and try to be happy again, make happy plans and move on.

Hope for the best, but don’t feel like a failure if it doesn’t work out! Everyone has bad days. Trust me. They may not talk about it, but they do. Only people who have zero interactions can fool themselves into a perfect state of being. The rest of us have these no so great moments.

And remember, that tomorrow is always another day.

Another day to make wonderful happy plans!

This is not to discourage anyone, but I think it high time to speak the truth about certain things. Pretending that life is always happy accomplishes nothing. Just because we don’t acknowledge a problem does not mean there is nothing wrong. By dealing not ignoring do we help ourselves find solutions to live a happier healthier way of living.

 

 

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