Finding Happy

Ignoring What You Don’t Want To Deal With? Is that right?

It’s not a surprise that in the society we live in, that people have temporary situations going on even in parts of their lives that they should not.

People get into temporary relationships that don’t last. My question would be, if you suddenly get into a relationship with a woman who’s been in 3 temporary relationships and then gets into a relationship with you. Do you actually think its forever? Or do you go in, pretending to each other that these will last forever knowing it will be temporary as it has been with the last 4 people, and wondering from the beginning when it will come to an end and what will bring it to that?

So you do what? Never completely give totally of yourself to that person. Never completely trust anyone with your heart? Or do you blindly go into it every single time?

Now I would not really know having been with the same person for so long, but we had our bumps in the road along the way. Forgiving takes years to do, and trust is something you don’t just hand out to anyone. Well not in my case.

Ignoring the pain or not dealing with the situation has never been my strong suit. It hardly deals with why you felt or acted that way in the first place, just putting a band aid on artery that will eventually drown you.

I won’t drown in any one situation for too long, but moving on without resolution solves nothing for me and usually makes me sick physically as well as mentally. And this seems to have gotten worse with age.

Hate what’s on Facebook, so you leave for a while until it seems better.  It’s not that taking a break from media is not a good idea; it sometimes gives you a shift in perception. However, if you think you won’t have to deal with drama when you return, then that would be a false assumption.

Some say that they will take a break to pay attention to the people they have neglected. The truth of that statement sometimes is that they have much more time than people in their lives.

Truth is that most of the people out there who have a social circle that existed outside of social media never really subscribed to it to begin with.

Then there are the people who work all day and do social media to distract themselves from the time they trade for money. Shifts the hole they feel everyday. I can relate.

Then you have the older generation who have nothing to do but do social media. The day is just too long without a distraction. They usually contribute some good stuff, very positive, but it seems a bit watered down since the drama in their lives is usually minimal and their interactions are no longer of the sort of having to deal with the public, meaning they only deal with what they want.

You also have the lonely people of the world who do some of the same. Needing a connection that they cannot find elsewhere and more and more people are connecting relationship wise by social media, which is alright I guess. No worse than anything we used in the past. You know, bars and such.

Then there are those of us who use these social medias to further our professions or our aspirations as writers, artist trying to make it into a lucrative sort of business that we could possibly do full time with some kind of compensation that would allow us to be who we were meant to be without the constraints of the trading time for money group.

For most it’s very interesting to have thousands of friends, all that you can ignore with a single command to unfollow, unfriend or block at the slightest sign of trouble.

I have been guilty of doing such things, especially when said conversations turn into I’m dumber than you debates.  Making me realize the importance of knowing the people you friend in this world and how most of the people I have on my friends list I know so little about and probably will never truly know. I won’t say all because I have some pretty awesome friends on social media, some I knew before and some I have really gotten to know as time went on, people I have lots in common with.

Here is my take on this. I know the people who I truly like on my page and have personal relationships with. It’s the people I interact with every day. Unfortunately, it’s not the thousands of friends my social media says I have. It’s maybe a handful (like 20 or maybe a bit more). And that is the distortion of such places.

I make it a rule that I never pay more attention to my phone than to the person who I am spending time with physically. Ask anyone who spends time with me. Meaning if I have an actual human in front of me, then the phone comes in second (actually it goes on mute and put away). It is something that has not changed even with my preoccupation with my passion for writing or YouTube channel. These things do not take up my entire day.

All this to say that we live in a world of disconnection, where everything is not as it appears. People want the envy of others to make themselves feel better and when things don’t go their way, they sign off or sign out of their lives, real or social media type. Putting drama in situations that really don’t matter, emulating shallow fake people that clog up our news and distract us from things that should matter much more to us.

Disposable relationships seem to be the new normal. When is the last time you paid attention to anything else than your needs and wants? When is the last time you have asked for forgiveness or forgiven someone something that you could have worked out if you had only tried? When is the last time you have fought for someone instead of just dismissing them as if it was something you could replace? And how many times do you think you can do that until the hard truth catches up with you that you can’t ignore, but find out too late that you are all alone?

Food for thought?

P.S. No judging here. I have been guilty of some of the things I talk about in this posting. But am slowly but surely getting the mistakes I have been committing and trying to right them so I don’t end up alone…on my phone, looking down realizing that I ended up having missed out on my life!

 

 

 

 

 

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