It’s Finally Happened!

I have money left in my wallet. Thirty-five dollars to be exact.The miracle of it is that it has been in my wallet for 12 days. Now my husband would probably argue it’s because he actually does most expense related purchases such as groceries and I don’t and that’s why I still have the money there. And for the most part, that would be true. I hate shopping especially for groceries…A LOT.

However, in the past I always found a way to spend any money left in my wallet. Lunch, trinkets, drinks etc. But in the last little while I have been driving the short distance to home to have a bite to eat, instead. And what I spend in gas is small compared to my $10 to $12 dollar a day lunch expenditures I used to have.

After all I don’t spend $60 in gas a week to go the 10 minutes down the road. So I am saving and with the added benefit of eating much better food every day. I think my expanded bottom fits better in my summer chairs. I’m sure I felt a difference over the weekend.

It’s happened before that I saw the money still in my wallet, but I usually end up giving it away to someone for something, like for bread or milk etc. As I said, my husband is the one designated to go do groceries or refills for toilet paper when needed. So I give him what I have if he is low on funds. But this time it has not happened, and I am cautiously hanging on to it. Why? Don’t know. I’ve never had money sitting there doing nothing for this long. It’s quite novel.

I think I might try to squirrel some away now and then call it my rainy day fund. For an impromptu trip or maybe in a sinking fund for whatever I might want it for. Massages?

All good ideas.

I’m just so impressed that I’m no longer in a hurry to spend all the money that I come in contact with. I remember a long time ago when I first rejoined the work force, having an internal discussion with myself about this and thinking I should try to hold on to my paper money as long as I could. That probably lasted about 6 minutes, but I was not in the frame of mind that I am in today.

I remember looking for objects to love when I went shopping. Now I look at everything in a much different light, I allow myself to admire things without needing to buy them.

Thing is, even my last purchase of a Frank Sinatra vinyl album was probably unnecessary because going through some drawers this weekend, I realized I had 3 full cd’s of Frank  songs that had not been played in forever. I had even forgotten that I had them.

Although being of a mind to love my vinyl records much more, I will probably donate or sell the cd’s if anything, but it just made me realize that even when I hardly spend anymore, I have spent so much in my past that I still have to get rid of a lot more stuff in my home so I don’t ever lose track again of the things I consider precious and valuable to go out and erroneously buy doubles.

We are getting there though, and for every box and bag that leaves my house, I can breathe a little better. I am clearing things out knowing that I will be back in that area to give more in the future (how in the heck do we accumulate so much). I am hoping one day in the next year or so, I can look around and find that my space is actually space and not junk upon junk piled up.

More is definitely going out than coming in and it’s no longer a habit that needed to be broken, I just sort of stopped what I was doing, I stopped shopping half-haphazardly and it wasn’t a need I created for myself anymore. I don’t equate happiness with purchasing things.  I have a beautiful home with lots of space. It’s just too filled up with stuff for me to appreciate it and see the possibilities. So I am clearing it so I can see it for the beauty if holds.

I will be grateful when I am at the point that I can see the wonderful finishes I can add to make the spaces peaceful and wonderful to match my life in the direction it’s going right now. One of simplicity and beauty.

Everything seems to be going there anyway, with money to spend that is no longer burning a hole in my pocket and a home that is starting to breathe within its own walls.

It’s a scary and wonderful thing when you finally stop trying to crowd your mind and space with all kinds of random things and thoughts and let yourself slow down and admire the simplicity of it all.

I’m not completely there yet, but definitely closer than I was yesterday and the day before that, and between you and me, I’ll take it cause it’s starting to feel really great.



  1. Congratulations! That’s such an awesome place to be!
    I’m slowly getting there though I haven’t tried it with actual dollars in my wallet yet as I’m a bit afraid that they’ll get spent 🙂


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