I had such a productive weekend, cleaning out a room in my house (the front of my house) that had become the catch all since my Dad had passed away (with the stuff remaining from his apartment).
Although I have gone through his belongings about 6 times since he passed in 2010, I have been itching in the last 6 months or so to really get in there and get rid of so many things in my bid to minimize the abundance of things we seem to collect and that burden us unnecessarily after with the maintenance of possessions that are no longer useful.
In clearing out debt, I have started to clear out my home as well, for any one thing that comes in, many more things go out. But the process has not been very apparent so far since we had accumulated so much over the years. I walk into my home and still see mountains of stuff (well maybe not mountains, but it feels that way sometimes).
The one good thing I am noticing that for every pile I go through seems I can go through that same pile a couple of months later and downsize it even more which has resulted in more open spaces and less junk piling up.
So I found myself finally even with my chronic pain slowly subsiding in the front of my home with my younger son going through stuff once again, mostly all the old DVD movies that my Dad collected.
I was listening to a Frank Sinatra record, sorting through Lewis and Martin/ John Wayne movies. To say that I wasn’t feeling nostalgic would be a lie. See I also have my Dad’s and Grandmother’s ashes on a shelf in this part of the house in a decorated box that my Mom made years ago. So every once in a while, I sit in the front and speak to them about my life, and mostly to ask for help.
I felt really at peace later, listening to music from a different era and feeling the much cooler wind (the weather finally cooled down a lot for us this weekend) blowing in fresh air.
After the day was over, I stayed up with my younger son watching a horror movie we had found and my older son woke up to find us awake at 2 am. I never stay up that late and he seemed confused by finding us up together so late (I am usually in bed much earlier), but he simply went back to bed.
The next day, my older son (who had not been in the room to help with the cleanup) said he dreamt of my Dad (his Pappy). I asked him what he had dreamt. He said that he came down and my husband and I were in the living room as we usually are, but he went past us and went to the front of the house, where it was renovated (which it is currently not). It had a bedroom, a living room and bathroom and he found my Dad sitting in what we could call his living room, asleep on his favorite black living room chair with a John Wayne movie playing in the background. He woke him up and told him to get to bed gently and shut off the TV and calmly closed the door to the front part of the house as he passed us and said good night before heading upstairs.
He told me he then had woken up and found me and his brother downstairs. He said he was a little disoriented but shook it off. He said it seemed natural to him that my Dad lived with us in the dream but then confused him when he woke up and realized it had been a dream.
Before my Dad passed away, we had had plans that never happened for him to live with us. We were going to renovate the front and have the kitchen to share between us. The simple setup he described had never been done, but it seemed plausible and totally worked, right down to the bed and dresser.
I got goosebumps at the details he provided from the John Wayne movie, to the coat rack beside the door with his “Commissionaire” jacket hanging, to his nifty hat on his head and the fact the cat was missing (Missy was put to sleep quite a few years back from being ill almost making it appear that this would be an up to date scenario if Dad had lived).
So after the initial tears and the obvious concern on my older son’s part since he knew nothing of my thoughts and clearing up of movies the day before including the John Wayne’s I had kept, he listened to my activities in the front for the day before and he then understood the dream, saying it must have been his grandfather’s way of communicating with me. He was in my thoughts, so he wanted to make sure that I knew I was in his.
I felt such a feeling of peace. I had felt so much guilt at not having rushed to build the front of the house to have him live with us when we bought it. But we were finally without a neighbor for the first time our lives (having always rented with pesky neighbors) and were really enjoying it. When he died, however, tremendous feelings of regret surrounded me since I realize that I had missed some potentially memorable moments I could have shared with my Dad like he did with his Mom when she lived with him and my Mom at the end of her life.
The dream made me feel like regardless of death, he was sharing our lives and living with us. That he had moved in with us and was happy and that Dad in his reality or realm of living had shared it with his grandson whom he loved as a message to me.
And sending it through him made it even more real because I could have written it off as being that my thoughts had been of him the day before, but in this way, the message was clear by sending it through the grandson that has been absent of any goings on in that room.
So is there an afterlife? I’d like to think so. I also think that for every loving soul that leaves the physical world, they are added to the energies of the people who want you to succeed here on in happiness on this big blue ball. To live in peace and your own personal joy and success.
My husband mentioned that since my Dad has left the physical plane, we seem to be growing spiritually and financially better every day. We are slowing down and doing less of the run around trying to catch our tails thing. Living life to enjoy it instead of just existing in it. And in saying that, he believes that my Dad had a part in those changes because his energy was added to other loved ones that have gone and are helping our journey exponentially every day.
So without any actual physical proof, I will say yes. I believe that my Dad is with us in his own afterlife that he has designed (one that made him happy that he wanted). And I can stop feeling guilty and know finally that he is not alone, he is with us, sharing everything with us. Healing that wound is a gift I never thought could have been healed, but miraculously, it is somehow healing. I am super grateful for the energies that make sure we get what we need when we need it.
We really live in a magical and high energy time, and all we have to do is slow down enough to tune into it, because when we do, that is when the magic begins to happen.
I wish you all the magic you can handle!