Do you know what people want most?
For others to listen. And more important than that, to take them seriously and take their advice seriously when they offer it.
Why is it so important? Because most people are offering some knowledge they deem valuable and want to share it with you to help you out.
Then why do kids or family members consistently ignore advice you give them? Sometimes they even come back at you with the same information they heard from an acquaintance and you think: ??? I told you this 2 weeks ago!!!
It’s not that you are not a credible source of information or unimportant, it’s just that these people have preconceived notion of you. A perception and if it’s with children, they are so used to you telling them to do what’s right that when you offer advice, they just want to ignore your mouth talking thinking you are just trying to tell them what to do, again.
Others may just see you as pushy, like you are trying to impose your way of life on them.
It can be very hard when dealing with family and friends.
Here are a few things I recommend to make it easier on all parties involved.
- Start conversations where you can offer some advice with a very deliberate and genuine offer of “I have some advice that has helped me a lot. If you would like to hear it, just let me know. I’d love to share it with you to see if it can help you.” I find it’s better than saying “Can I give you some advice?” Because everyone asks that and rarely waits for the skeptical “yeah” before going ahead and ramming the advice down the person’s neck.
- Don’t over emphasize or repeat yourself when you do give advice. It’s too much like you are trying to convince them. Keep it precise and short. If they need you to repeat and are interested, they will make you repeat.
- If they are really not interested, just drop it. IF it works for you, then you know its value. It doesn’t need selling since you already bought it.
- If someone does come back at you with advice you have already given, be happy that they at least got brains enough to take it from someone and let it go.
- If you are constantly trying to help family and friends who keep ignoring what you say, you might want to stop offering up advice or even conversation since I always believed that if you spend time with people who don’t want to hear what you say, you need to spend time with different people.
Keeping all these things in mind, you have to remember that advice is a subjective thing. You should be careful what advice you give to people. There is a lot of erroneous information out there being spread and you may be inadvertently leading some down the wrong road. Although it may not be done maliciously, it will seriously affect your credibility if it’s found out it was wrong later. So try to do your research and be sure of your information before you pass it on to avoid embarrassment.
Other than that, you can only do what people are willing to accept. If you feel the need to share, and lack the audience, you can always find mediums to share the wealth of information. You can write eBooks, blogs, YouTube and go on social medias as well. The sky is the limit in today’s world.
Just a quick note about negative advice. I have met up with people who have given me negative responses when I have asked for advice on things. The answer of “oh no, you can’t do that” is the one that always has me looking deeper to see if maybe, just maybe “I can”. I find people who give this advice are more offering a personal opinion than actual fact. I usually find myself double checking their opinions just to see if there is a possible solution that might have been overlooked. I usually try not to correct them to make them feel bad, but will let them know if they inquire later letting them know I found a different solution.
And remember to be kind. Everyone is just trying to find their own answers on this big blue ball we call Earth…….