As I actively learn to listen and actively involve myself in even repeating what people have told me without waiting for my turn to speak, I have realized a few things.
How others don’t exactly do the same. Catch yourself sitting around a table with everyone talking over each other to get their point across. My time has become precious to me so when I find myself sitting for hours with people who basically prefer the sound of their own voices, I tend to want to get away from this situation.
Here are a few tips where I would suggest a quick exit:
- People who don’t let you finish a sentence before talking over you and louder. Which proves that these people are point blank not interested in anything you have to say.
- People who start conversations that have nothing to do with the topic of current conversations. These people are senile or deaf. Either way, special procedures are needed when dealing with these people.
- People who search for answers but dismiss or ignore the answers you give them. Most likely they only want to vent and complain, and are not looking for actual solutions, just to whine constantly. Run!
- People who don’t make eye contact when you are talking. They are either uncomfortable, trying to dismiss or ignore you. In any case, they are not a captivated audience and even when they are speaking with you, they should keep eye contact.
- And finally although it’s great to be an active listener and let the other have their say, it’s important to affiliate yourself with people who are not just ego maniacs concerned with only themselves. A good relationship consist of two or more people actively talking and listening and not one doing a show and the others being the audience.
People who don’t actively listen to you will usually prove they have not listened by asking questions you have already answered, talk to you about places and things you’ve already done and told them about.
When you live a life of enjoying every moment, you are in the moments actively and want to listen and learn from people. I know I do, especially if it’s something that will help.
And remember also that people who spend their days pointing at someone have one finger pointing outwards and 3 pointing back at themselves. So if people say that you talk for nothing or have nothing to say, in essence they are probably passing judgement on themselves or feel that they are not heard themselves/or have nothing to say of value themselves.
Another one I’d like to point out is people you constantly have to schedule appointments with to be cancelled on when something more important comes around. Never been a big fan and usually made a point of moving on. Things happen but when you start feeling like you are being ignored. Time to let go.
I got into a discussion with someone at some point about people such as myself who share and have a lot to say as being seen as preaching. Maybe in a way I am preaching my own gospel to people, but I try to make it a point to offer them things that will improve their state of mind and/or state of finance and/or happiness.
I want everyone to share in what has worked for me so far and they always have a choice to ignore it if they don’t like it.
Life is all about choices and I actively use mine whenever I can. Hope you do too!