I’ve been reading and listening to a lot of material these days, to people who want to share with me their advice on success and how to achieve it. The more I read, the more I realize it basically comes down to getting out of your mindset. Changing the way you think of situations as they happen to you.
I have found its not much as only walking around with positive thoughts, it’s more like creating a more positive reality. Knowing that things will happen, but realizing what they are, taking care of it and developing a more positive tone to it.
Here are some tips on what mind sets you absolutely need to change to live a better life.
They say stress is a number 1 killer. They do not lie about this. Worrying and Stressing out about everything is the worse thing you can possibly do for yourself and your mind. You breathe shallowly, you start reacting poorly to everything. You get caught up inside the circle of stress. You need to find ways to let go of that stuff. When it starts to get you, you need to identify it and then release it. Find a spot to center yourself and release it. If you need to hum and people stare at you strangely, then let them. The most important thing is to make sure that the grips of anxiety let go of you. Your mind is the first place to start and to keep talking yourself out of it until it becomes a habit.
Instant Gratification or Avoidance because you are avoiding stuff. This one will also not help you. It’s practicing avoidance of situations by doing something to make you feel good instantly. This can be gambling, shopping, drinking, over-eating etc. You are dealing with the fact that you cannot deal with something so you go and do something else that makes it feel all better for now. So it becomes your avoidance of fixing the actual problem. Now I know that sometimes our problems cannot be fixed instantly, that sometimes things get out of our control. The way we think of them and handle them are not. In the worst of mental moments, you can always turn to find what you are grateful for and I don’t know about you, but my grateful things are usually the love from the people around me and less likely booze or shopping. Instead of ignoring them for these things that mimic an instant happy, maybe it would be better to reach out and let the people who love you in to support you and help you get back to a happier frame of mind. My best memories are never of a great shopping trip, but more of the people I have huddled with in my darkest days.
The next one would be What Others Expect Of You. I know for myself I almost always think of the conversation I had with a parent and when that parent haphazardly without much thought said that he was disappointed that I had not done more with my life. At the time, I had stayed home to be the mother of two children. It was our choice to do it that way because personally I could not let anyone raise my kids. It was our decision and not for everyone I know. Didn’t make it more right, just made it right for me. I knew that I could be in the business world making my mark while all my schooling was slowly becoming obsolete as I stayed home. I sometimes already felt that my time for my career was slowly getting away from me. And to have that comment when I worked so hard at home to make ends meet and ensure everyone was alright, only added to my feelings of feeling obsolete, like somehow I had failed. I felt like I was letting this parent down because of his expectations for me. As I make my way in life and realize that I don’t really want a career after all and that being able to live modestly without killing myself at a job is more my style, I have also realized that what people expect of me is so much less important than what I expect of myself. So whatever others think you might need in your life and what you actually need might be two very different things. You must graciously and kindly just let that stuff go. Most of the time, it’s more a reflection of their lives and not yours. You can also help that by making your goals heard and sharing, then people know where you want to go.
If you can work on these, you will find that you can replace stress, instant gratification and expectations with honest conversations with yourself, personal solutions and a better frame of mind.
Let’s be honest, even if you have the best of intentions, this does not ensure a smooth ride. In fact, I can guarantee you will have those days where you will feel like you are failing. All I have to say is keep practicing to focusing back on what you want to be doing. Look at where you want to be and how you want to feel and eventually you will look around and realize that you did it.
Have you taken a look at my latest eBook “Peaceful Living in a Clean Space”.
Go check it out: Available on Amazon from almost any country today! Just click on the book’s picture and you can go take a look.