Some people such as myself, work on the premise that efficiency and organization are key elements to get your day done.However, we can get a bit over the top sometimes because we want things to run so smoothly, that when they don’t, we are terribly hard on ourselves.
I must tell you I had a very bad week this week. I had an episode with GERD (Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease) which is always fun. It happens now and again, but I can usually manage it pretty good. Not so this time. So because of the nausea, I missed a day of work. I went back to work kinda feeling a bit better but not much only to be buried alive with tons of work, because when I am not there, you guessed it, it does not get done. I am also helping another office get its work done (but that is another topic to never discuss).
Our systems were down, not helping me get out of my mountain of work. I felt like I got caught in a game of “You’re it!” in the worse way possible.
Then because of the snowy humid weather, since the indigestion was not bad enough I started to feel achy no doubt because of the Fibromyalgia. So I felt pretty much like a MAC truck had run me over pretty much all week long.
Up until this morning when I did not wake up with nausea, the rest of the week I was pretty much left with no control or power over my sickness and my work. I had to show up and do the best that I could.
Well, I did as all people who live to be organized do. I handled it badly. I cried and got mad and frustrated. Then I would get mad and frustrated because I could not handle myself better. Then came the feeling of being a failure at everything else I did. Funny how when things go bad, everything seems to keep going that way. Domino effect.
I suddenly felt that I would amount to nothing, die in pain and no one would ever show up to my funeral. Why? Well because I am having a bad week.
Here I am writing blogs about happy and the sun and feeling like the rug had been pulled from under me.
I felt like giving up, but didn’t.
Want to know why?
Because I can’t. As much as I want to, I know that if your day is going awful, there is a chance that tomorrow will be better.
Just like a dog who won’t let go of that dog bone, I had to let go of the bone that all was going wrong! Just let it be. You want to hold on to the mess, when you should shrug and take care of yourself and LET IT GO.
I really don’t care about anyone showing up to my funeral or not because I would rather spend time with people when I am living then having them come to see me when it’s too late. That life is not a popularity contest, but we always tend to revert back to our egos and feel sorry for ourselves.
That the only thing I am failing at is being unkind to myself in believing I am a failure. Everyday that I accomplish all that I do is a day that I am successful. I have come through so much and work at what I love to do everyday. How can that be failing?
That crying is a good way of releasing the pressure, especially if you feel you can’t handle it anymore. And that it’s human and normal to cry. Not everything will always go the way you want it.
And I do believe that when my body goes through another change in my life, that I will get better because the body has great healing capabilities and it’s amazing that even after that awful week body wise, I can bounce back as I have.
That I can only do what I can, when I can and that is all I can do when it comes to work. And that no matter how awful the mountain looks, I can usually catch up because that’s how good I am. And that one day I will be able to hand over those keys and get to rest and just be.
And the best thing I can do is continue writing about the happy things in life and the sun because after all, if someone out there is having a bad week like I have had. They might be grateful to have someone lift their spirits with happy thoughts and uplifting posts and words. And if I can make one single person feel better, then really that makes me feel better.
I am not spreading negative vibes and burdening anyone with my unhappy moment that will most likely be alright eventually.
Lesson to this is; Don’t give up. Bad days and weeks will happen, but tomorrow is another day and if not, the day after that is also another day. The clouds will move out, the sun will come around again. You have everything to be grateful for and no matter how you feel today, mountains get climbed, bodies heal, you will move forward regardless. So cry and be mad if need to, but try to keep it in perspective. Let the people you love know you need help. I know my husband’s understanding and my younger son’s hugs got me very far this week.
Hang in there baby! Things always change, one way or another.
Have you seen taken a look at my latest eBook “Peaceful Living in a Clean Space”.
Go check it out: Available on Amazon from almost any country today! Just click on the book’s picture and you can go take a look.