All my life I’ve felt sort of small. Let me explain, I came from a small family. My father was an only child, and his mother was an only child.On my biological mother’s side, I really didn’t know many people. I have a half brother and sister that were so much older than me from a different father, but I didn’t really know much about them until recently. My mother had brothers but my biological mother died young and she had had a falling out with her family, so I never heard from them.
My father had a child from a very early previous marriage so far I have not been able to contact or find that son.
Then this weekend just for the heck of it, I went on ancestry.ca and checked out my family tree. In less than two days I had gone back to my 18th great grandfather. Suddenly, every line was bigger than the next. I could trace back to the year my ancestors landed in this country and then further than that to where they were in France. I got as far as 1409. I sat there looking at the screen at little bit overwhelmed at the discovery of my family. Something I never thought I would do or even find.
I found out in this short space of time how huge my ancestral family really was. Of course I have to thank the people before me who did all the leg work and added the information to the site. I am hoping to add pictures from my side and do my part, however, beyond finding that, I found out my name comes from a town in Calvados, France. How cool is that? I know the origins of my name.
My family suddenly got a whole lot bigger and how curious I am to see if I can do research and find any more information of who they were and what kind of history was passed down to me. Not to mention if I can’t find out more about my immediate family this oddly enough is not as researched as the older generations.
All of this is great, but I wanted to share that my perspective changed overnight and my mind expanded. I am from a long line as we all are and I was personally elated and even at times breathless as I dug deeper.
Why did my father give me a Spanish name? Was it simply because my mother was a Spanish singer or did it feel right to him to do so since there is definitely Spanish blood coursing through my line and his. Who’s to say?
Do you long to go somewhere but don’t know why? Maybe it’s in your blood. Is it a genetic memory, a re-incarnated one? Does our energy follow a path that we feel, yet don’t know where it’s from?
I’ve always known we are much more than the sum of our parts, our feelings. But how cool is it that we can sometimes look into the past to peak at what was, how we came from one to the other to the other.
A list of names on a wall going up and out, and I know even if not written anywhere this goes on further since the planet began breathing and beyond that. How awesome is that when you think about it. Like the universe and the planet, we began somewhere and continue to go somewhere.
And don’t you think it would be wonderful that in 6 centuries from now, your future generations would look at a snapshot of your life and say your name and even for a moment, you would be remembered by someone who never could have possibly known you. To know that somewhere in time when your body is long gone, your name will cross the lips of someone who will wonder what it would have been like to k now you. With the internet, it is a real possibility that they will be able to see and get a glimpse of the person who was here. With this in mind, I will try to leave an uplifting message that will bring hope to any future generations.
I try not to live in ego, however, I can’t help but to find this all so immensely fun and cool all at the same time.
If nothing else, my mind is in awe of the vastness and possibilities of all things, and if you truly have only a number of years here, make sure you make them count. You don’t know who might be peeking or when?